Never Fight a Baby

Yeah…here’s some serious life advice from a seasoned veteran: NEVER fight a BABY! At first glance, this seems pretty obvious. Who would fight a baby? What kind of moron would do something that stupid? Fighting a baby is a lose-lose proposition. If you win the fight, then you are a jerk that beats up on babies. If you lose the fight, then you are the wuss who got beat up by a baby. Lose-lose.

You will never out-scream, out-cry, or out-tantrum a baby unless…of course…you are a bigger baby. Don’t be the bigger baby.

The phrase “never fight a baby” originated from a problem public speakers often encounter. Sometimes a baby starts crying while a presentation is going on and it causes a significant disruption. Both the presenter and the audience get distracted. “What’s wrong with the baby? Why won’t the parents take the baby out of the room. How long is this going to go on?”

Tension builds and it feels like an eternity.

A common mistake public speakers make is trying to fight the baby. They speak louder and the baby cries louder. They speak more forcefully and the tension grows. They speed up their tempo and it feels even longer. They stare down the parents to give them a “get out of here” look and everyone gets more uncomfortable.

Never fight a baby. Instead, recognize that the baby is being a baby because…well…it’s a baby. The presenter should slow down, speak softer, smile, use welcoming body language, and wait it out. This always deescalates the situation and creates space for the baby to calm down or for the parents to decide to take the baby out of the room.

This principle is true for public speaking, but even better for everyday life. When you encounter people who act like babies, remember that there are reasons they are behaving that way. They may be exhausted, in pain, confused, or have an unmet need. It is easy to think that they should be more mature, but for whatever reason they are not. Treat them the way that you want to be treated when you are acting like a baby.

Slow down.

Speak softly.

Smile.

Use gentle body language.

Be patient.

Never fight a baby, but don’t baby a baby either. There is no need to patronize people or feel like it is your job to meet all their needs. It is okay to provide a shoulder to cry on and safe space for a temporary tantrum, but do not enable immature behavior by adding fuel to the fire. Offer gentle, direct counsel. Remain calm and measured. Ask thought provoking questions. Allow people to walk away upset.

There is only one thing worse than one baby crying…two babies crying. Dueling babies is painful. If you find yourself being a baby because you think someone else is being a baby, then grow up and stop being a baby. Only babies fight other babies. Never fight a baby!